


fade away (the it's just a kiss away remix)

by Sarah T (SarahT)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-01
Updated: 2011-05-01
Packaged: 2017-10-18 20:51:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/193171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarahT/pseuds/Sarah%20T
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Teyla thinks John's sleeping.  He isn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fade away (the it's just a kiss away remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Seawall](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/3182) by wojelah. 



Teyla thinks John's sleeping. He isn't. He's lying awake, listening to her struggle for breath. She sounds like someone who's been hit in the stomach hard, someone who can't expand her chest to let the air in.

He knows what's going on, and he doesn’t know, and it's incredibly frustrating. When he'd been all buggy, by the end he'd gone mindless, acting entirely on instinct. He hardly remembers a thing from that time, though a lot of that may be plain old self-preservation. He doesn't want to know what it felt like, being a monster.

Teyla, on the other hand, Teyla with the Wraith Queen in her—she's different, but she's more. It's like she's not crumbling, she's _unfolding_. The thought brings a tight knot of feelings into his own chest. Professional concern for a teammate. Worry for a friend. A touch of envy that shoots by too fast for him to focus on. And fear. She's always been two steps ahead of him. He's been waiting since day one for her to leave him behind. Every time this kind of thing happens, it seems more likely.

She makes a harsher noise, and he sighs. Becoming less, becoming more, becoming a freak, becoming a goddess—seems that what they have in common is that it hurts. He gets up and comes over to her bunk.

She's lying pale and rigid, braced against something he can't see. The Queen slept for centuries under the ocean. Teyla seems to be having that same dream with her eyes open. He says her name. No answer. He repeats it, pulling at her. Still no reply.

When his palm strikes her cheek, her eyes snap to him. For a second, he thinks she might kill him. There's that glitter, that haughtiness. It transfixes him.

Then it passes, for both of them, and she lets him help her sit up. She sags down again almost immediately, turning her head into his shoulder. Every point where they touch goes electric, and he grimaces. That's not what she needs, him reverting back to the _thing_ that had attacked her in the gym. Teammate, he thinks. Friend. He's got to be better than this.

So he tries. Lets her hide her head against his chest. Doesn't touch her hair, or stroke her shoulder, or turn her mouth up to his. Doesn't coax her down to lie underneath him, the shelter he knows how to give. He just waits, for her, with her, even though she might slip away with the next tide.

And doing that, only that, sure does hurt. He's not sure what that says about him—better or worse, more or less.

Sooner or later, they'll see.


End file.
